


The Worst Act of Terrorism

by Godahl



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c., Star Fox Series
Genre: M/M, Politics, Slash, United States Presidents, macro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 21:08:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10975356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Godahl/pseuds/Godahl
Summary: General Mark A Milley informs former President Elect George W Bush that Fox and Falco are giants and have caused considerable problems in the United States infrastructure.





	The Worst Act of Terrorism

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know anything at all about the real General here, but since he was hired by Trump I'm guessing he's not as reasonable as this fic makes him out to be. Still, I needed someone to do the job he has here, and I guess he's as good a choice as anyone today.
> 
> Actually, nobody on Earth is probably old enough to read this.

Former President Elect of the United States of America George W Bush sat in his country home, painting a picture of an adequate landscape. His hair and face showed no trace of the stress eight years at the job of the presidency had dealt him. The landscape failed at the category of being Bush’s best painting, but he received joy at each brushstroke.

A uniformed figure burst into the room. “Mr. Bush, we have a national emergency!” said Chief Staff of the United States Army General Mark A. Milley.

“General, what’s the problem?”

“It’s… it’s terrible! I don’t have words to describe it!”

“Well, just give it a shot. What happened?”

“It… it was Fox McCloud and Falco Lombardi, they’re GIANTS, and they just had sex!”

George frowned. “I did try to make that illegal, but why is that a national emergency?”

“Because, they’re… they’re huge! Gigantic! Enormous!”

“How enormous, General?”

The General caught his breath. “Well… take a look at this. This picture was taken by NASA’s satellite telescope.”

George W. Bush looked at the picture. The entire eastmost side of the United States was a mishappen lump of crushed rock. George’s eyes widened. “They did… this, just having sex?”

“Yes, Mr. Bush, they’re so huge, that they did this just rolling around.”

“But, I don’t understand, how did we let this happen?”

“Well, Fox saw Falco from across the state of Texas. Falco had just been working out by bench pressing Canada, and was hot and sweaty. Fox withheld a blush and walked up to him, crushing dozens of suburban houses in the process.”

“Dear God.”

“Exactly. Fox asked Falco, ‘Hey, old partner, it’s been a while since we last talked. Are you okay?’ Falco replied, ‘Yeah, yeah, Fox. I’m fine.’ Fox retorted, ‘but all you seem to do these days is work out. Andross is dead, man. We can enjoy a long retirement!’ Falco shifted in his position, crushing pieces of farmland. ‘I know, it’s just… it’s over isn’t it?’ ‘What is?” asked Fox. ‘Our time as heroes. We’re just living normal lives now, like, just ordinary citizen stuff.’ Falco moved away from Fox towards New York, squishing several skyscrapers doing so.”

“I’m actually a little uncertain all of this is necessary information for this briefing.” said Bush.

“Quiet, we’re just getting to the hot stuff. Fox followed Falco and put his hand on Falco’s shoulder. Falco brushed it off. ‘You’re depressed,’ Fox said, ‘I am too, but you need, like, something real to take this out on. Something to actually pound away your troubles.’ ‘Yeah, like what?’ asked Falco. Fox gulped. Then he paused. ‘Like… me,’ he spurted after a time.

“Falco looked back at him. Fox gave a slow shrug and a smile. ‘You know?’ Fox said. A pause. ‘Fox… I… didn’t think you were going to ask,’ Falco said, smiling. Fox, returning the grin, put his hands on Falco’s chest and licked his face. Falco began pulling off Fox’s jacket. They fell to the ground, destroying the west side of New York City, while Falco returned Fox’s kisses. They rolled over the rest of New York, reducing it to rubble.”

“Can I interrupt, for a second, General?” asked George W. Bush.

“Oh fine. What?”

“What was President Trump doing during all of this? It sounds like a lot of people were dead before the destruction of the east coast.”

The General looked at his feet. “We… really can’t do anything to hurt Fox and Falco. They’re heroes, Mr. Bush. And anyway, Trump was dead a few minutes after this started.”

“Excuse me? Trump’s dead?”

“Yessir. After crushing New York by rolling over it, they moved on top of Washington DC. They were fully unclothed at this point, and Falco laid Fox over his lap and gave him some spanks. Fox moaned in pain and pleasure, louder with each slap. With the tenth one, Fox screamed in pleasure and brought a hand down right on the White House, reducing it to a hole in the ground and some rubble. Trump died. He never had a chance.”

“This is really much more detail than I require for this briefing.”

“Well, it gets worse. Falco, his boner now stiff as a flagpole and spurting some precum, positioned itself at Fox’s asshole. Fox looked behind him eagerly. Falco lubed his cock up with what he had available, and entered. Fox screamed in pleasure while Falco grunted, growing more excited with each thrust. ‘Falco…’ said Fox, ‘I… I love this… I love… you…’ Hearing those words, Falco came, hard, moaning with pleasure. He filled Fox’s insides with his seed. Fox felt warmth in his lower half, and he moaned in pleasure. ‘I’m sorry, Fox, that was early wasn’t it?’ ‘No, Falco, it was wonderful. But you know, you’ve come and I haven’t…’ Hearing that, Falco smiled. They rolled over once more, passing by North and South Carolina, crushing thousands of people beneath their weight, and stopped at Florida.”

“General, I’m… a little bothered by your tone in this briefing.”

“We’re almost done. Falco put his hand on Fox’s crotch. Fox wriggled with glee. Holding Fox’s cock in his hands, Falco started rubbing it. Slow at first, with Fox closing his eyes and moaning in pleasure. Seeing Fox’s face, Falco started going faster, with Fox wriggling, getting more excited by the second, until finally, Fox came, releasing streams of sperm into the ocean. Satisfied, the two of them laid down on top of Florida, killing everyone in the remainder of the east coast by crushing houses, high rise apartment complexes, office buildings, and skyscrapers. They looked into each others’ eyes. ‘Forever?’ asked Fox. ‘Until we’re dead,’ Falco replied.”

George W Bush said nothing.

“The end,” said the General after a time.

George pinched the top of his nose. “Where are Fox and Falco now?” he asked.

“They’re still sleeping on top of Florida. We have yet to make an official response.”

“Okay,” said Bush, “All right. So why are you telling me this? I’m not supposed to be the recipient of this kind of information any more.”

The General rebuttoned his collar. “Mr. Bush, this is currently being called by the media ‘The worst terrorist attack in the history of America.’ We have literally millions of casualties reported, and are still calculating the full scope of the damages.”

“Yes? And?”

The General stuck out his hand. “Mr. Bush, we want you to lead the country again.”

George W Bush said nothing.

“We are asking this because of your skill leading the country in the years following nine eleve--” the General burst into laughter. Tears ran down his face. He chortled. He giggled. Then he sighed. “Nope. No, I couldn’t keep a straight face.”

“Did you make all of that up?” asked Bush.

“No, Fox and Falco really did destroy half the country by rolling around having sex.”

“But you don’t want me to come back as President.”

The General looked shocked. “Jesus. Jesus Lord, no! Are you kidding? Holy shit.”

“Okay, then what are you going to do about all this?”

“Well, are troops are too few and our weapons to weak to mount a counterattack.” The General shrugged. “Our current military strategy is to just pray to God they don’t do it again, or if they do they walk over to France first.” The General tipped his hat. “See you Georgey.” And he left.

Former President of the United States George W Bush watched him leave. “I guess the question has been answered,” he said, “Our children is not learning, and neither did not our parents!”


End file.
